Fare thee well, Xanga

Thou art a haven I never called home, yet into thy hands I placed many a thought.  I bid thee farewell.

Bobby

I'm going to see Bobby this weekend.  I'll bring my camera.  Any requests?

From my senior recital poster, but strangely applicable to last year's Intro and Rondo as well

Addendum

So far my post on Bobby has generated a flurry (well, maybe more like a mid-sized snow, like the kind we get here in Cleveland, until it warms up to 35 or so and rains - RAINS - in the middle of winter and my poor Mozart part gets wet because bringing an umbrella outside in a Cleveland winter is usually about as necessary as using correct grammar and punctuation in a cell-phone text message, which isn't very necessary at all unless you have extra time on your hands, so I'm fortunate that it was just a photocopy, though my teacher will blow his stack soon if I don't go ahead plunk down the moola for a nice Henle edition, which is great except that it's expensive and the paper seems to wear out quicker than an International version) of comments, but the actual number of applicants seems to be zero. 

Surely the fault is mine.

To remedy this, I am now waiving the application fee for all eligible ladies (sorry, Abigail, Bobby isn't interested in married women).  Extra credit will be awarded to those who exalt the cello and malign the violin in verse, as per Nate's suggestion. 

Get to work, ladies.

Much like how Charles Ives sold insurance before becoming a composer and J.K. Rowling did whatever it was before she began Harry Potter, I wasted seven summers at Masterworks before I realized my true calling.

Don’t misunderstand me.  Over the many years at Masterworks, God has given me many wonderful gifts.  Here are some that don’t pertain to my topic today.

2)      Pictures of me in a dryer

3)      The Catan Sceptre-Birthday Baton-Inappropriate Stick

4)      Wonderful women who somehow marry men who are not me

5)      Beethoven’s Opus 130

6)      Friends

7)       

The seventh spot is for you to fill in.  Go ahead.

The top spot, however, was vacant until this past summer.  I was asked to introduce myself as a counselor and was casting about for some meaning in my life through which to justify my position of authority, and in that moment of uncertainty I suddenly understood what had been missing:

1)      A purpose for my life: finding a woman for Bobby Nicholson

Here I’d like to give a personal thanks to my dear friend Sam Biniker for reminding me of this purpose: thanks. 

If you know Bobby, you already know that his good qualities are more numerous than the number of times Dr. Kavanaugh says “Praise the Lord” during lunch announcements in a week of Masterworks.  Maybe two weeks, if you count the week that somebody put a water balloon on top of one of the pianos.  But if you don’t know him, please allow me to paint a picture for you.

This is Bobby.  I can say without hubris that this drawing really captures the essence of some of the things we love most about him.

He plays cello

He is a man

He can make a sweet evil face

He doesn’t use an end pin.

That last bit isn’t true, actually – I ran out of space.  Now, ladies, let me tell you some things you may not know about Bobby.  He’s cheerful.  He loves Jesus.  He’s funny.  He’s wise.  He’s humble.  He works hard.  I’m not kidding about any of this; if you haven’t noticed these qualities in him before, I blame Nick’s hair for distracting you.  C’mon, get over it already!

So let’s get down to business [Ed. note: to defeat the Huns].  Bobby is busy finding a job that will allow him to support a family.  He doesn’t have time to read hundreds of resumes or hold extensive face to face interviews.  Because of this, Greg and I have graciously volunteered to screen applicants for Bobby’s affections.   We will be holding auditions in Cleveland, New York, and Winona Lake, Indiana over the coming months.  To apply, please answer these questions:

Is Milton the greatest master of the English language?

If so, why?

If not, what’s wrong with you?

How long is long enough for a phrase?

a)      Short

b)      Long

c)       The entire movement

d)      The entire work

e)      The cadence from last year’s concert yet approaches

Do you like to laugh?  If so, do you like being startled?

Were your so-called friends to viciously empty cans of Axe into your underwear drawer,

1)      How would you respond?

2)      How would Jesus repond?

3)      How would Bobby respond?

No picture with your application is necessary—Bobby isn’t that shallow—but please include a short (less than 400 words) essay on why the cello is better than the violin.  Applications may be posted here or can be emailed to Greg or me. 

Also, please include a $35 processing fee.